To be fair, I never really lived through those stereotypes. I just read about them and found them interesting and somewhat ironic. Did you ever consider a feminine identity or did masculinity just feel more natural to approach? If you don't mind me asking.
I understand. That's about how my possessiveness works too. Granted, the idea of possessive sex like that is kind of hot, but not when actual other possibilities are on the horizon. I'm glad I've made you feel worthwhile. That's been mutual.
(Despite the weight of the questions, they are actually incredibly easy to answer.)
I have no interest in polyamory or an open relationship. I couldn't handle it, and I wouldn't ask you to handle it either just so I can get my dick wet. I do like sex, but I don't like sex more than I like the idea of creating a special relationship with someone. You. I would hate for you to have multiple partners outside of me.
If we're keeping to honesty here, I have no idea how to feel about your past relationship. I'm happy for you that you had it. Selfishly though it makes me wonder if I could live up to that. You still carry around his ring, so part of me feels like I'm encroaching on another dude's husband or something. So. I get the insecurity thing.
I understand.
(More than that, he didn't want K to ever feel that way. Even if they never got together, even if K decided he didn't want to get involved with Dirk. There's a delay where it seems like Dirk might be done with the conversation. But then there's a video transmission. He's in a loose tanktop, his hair completely unstyled and soft around his head. More importantly, he isn't wearing his sunglasses. There's something undeniably vulnerable about the expression on his face and the fact that he can't really seem to bring himself to look at the actual camera.
Baby steps though. He felt like he had to prove something to K, and this was his approach. He had fucked up, and he wanted to...Be better about this than he had ever been with Jake. He always thought about how if he had just chilled out and tried to have a real talk...
But this isn't Jake. It's K. He doesn't really want to keep drawing comparisons in his mind. It wasn't fair to either man. He doesn't look at the camera as he talks, but every now and then his decidedly unusual, orange eyes flicker back and forth. This was making his skin crawl. You got this, Strider.)
I will never see you as an object. I want to make that completely clear. I do see you as an android. (A beat, his voice trailing off, but then, softer:) I have no interest in erasing that reality from you or discrediting it. I'm not going to sit here and pretend like you're a human, because you aren't. I wouldn't change that. I value your personhood and sense of self. The way your mind works was created not that dissimilarly to the way mine was.
(Dirk actually manages to lift his eyes for a beat, frowning at the camera.)
It's okay if you fall back on thinking that way. I'll just guide you away from it. We stumble sometimes. (He shrugs, and looks back down.) God knows I have my fucking issues with a sense of self. I'm not even the real me anymore. Whatever the fuck 'real' even means.
(He shuts his eyes. He's tapped out. He puts his shades back on and immediately relaxes. Okay, the important part was done. He slides a hand through his hair and slumps forward, assuming a more casual position.)
Bro, Savage was just amused that I was flirting with other dudes. I will discuss it bluntly with him if it makes you feel more comfortable about the situation though. I can do that.
(No real problem there either. He knew this wasn't a formal commitment. He was okay with that too. He wanted to feel more steady on his feet with K before delving into something established. But at least with this, they knew going in what was going on. It was better than trying to pretend like he didn't have a desperate crush on the guy.)
-> video
I understand. That's about how my possessiveness works too. Granted, the idea of possessive sex like that is kind of hot, but not when actual other possibilities are on the horizon. I'm glad I've made you feel worthwhile. That's been mutual.
(Despite the weight of the questions, they are actually incredibly easy to answer.)
I have no interest in polyamory or an open relationship. I couldn't handle it, and I wouldn't ask you to handle it either just so I can get my dick wet. I do like sex, but I don't like sex more than I like the idea of creating a special relationship with someone. You. I would hate for you to have multiple partners outside of me.
If we're keeping to honesty here, I have no idea how to feel about your past relationship. I'm happy for you that you had it. Selfishly though it makes me wonder if I could live up to that. You still carry around his ring, so part of me feels like I'm encroaching on another dude's husband or something. So. I get the insecurity thing.
I understand.
(More than that, he didn't want K to ever feel that way. Even if they never got together, even if K decided he didn't want to get involved with Dirk. There's a delay where it seems like Dirk might be done with the conversation. But then there's a video transmission. He's in a loose tanktop, his hair completely unstyled and soft around his head. More importantly, he isn't wearing his sunglasses. There's something undeniably vulnerable about the expression on his face and the fact that he can't really seem to bring himself to look at the actual camera.
Baby steps though. He felt like he had to prove something to K, and this was his approach. He had fucked up, and he wanted to...Be better about this than he had ever been with Jake. He always thought about how if he had just chilled out and tried to have a real talk...
But this isn't Jake. It's K. He doesn't really want to keep drawing comparisons in his mind. It wasn't fair to either man. He doesn't look at the camera as he talks, but every now and then his decidedly unusual, orange eyes flicker back and forth. This was making his skin crawl. You got this, Strider.)
I will never see you as an object. I want to make that completely clear. I do see you as an android. (A beat, his voice trailing off, but then, softer:) I have no interest in erasing that reality from you or discrediting it. I'm not going to sit here and pretend like you're a human, because you aren't. I wouldn't change that. I value your personhood and sense of self. The way your mind works was created not that dissimilarly to the way mine was.
(Dirk actually manages to lift his eyes for a beat, frowning at the camera.)
It's okay if you fall back on thinking that way. I'll just guide you away from it. We stumble sometimes. (He shrugs, and looks back down.) God knows I have my fucking issues with a sense of self. I'm not even the real me anymore. Whatever the fuck 'real' even means.
(He shuts his eyes. He's tapped out. He puts his shades back on and immediately relaxes. Okay, the important part was done. He slides a hand through his hair and slumps forward, assuming a more casual position.)
Bro, Savage was just amused that I was flirting with other dudes. I will discuss it bluntly with him if it makes you feel more comfortable about the situation though. I can do that.
(No real problem there either. He knew this wasn't a formal commitment. He was okay with that too. He wanted to feel more steady on his feet with K before delving into something established. But at least with this, they knew going in what was going on. It was better than trying to pretend like he didn't have a desperate crush on the guy.)