I get that it's probably what you would want emotionally, but you know that wouldn't be what Nat or Choso would want.
(He exhales slowly and the fucked up thing is he understood why Junpei would want that. It's what Dirk would want for himself if he ever did that kind of thing to Ken.)
Listen, man...At some point, you gotta...(There's some shifting around on his end and then another soft sigh.)
Part of loving someone, genuinely loving them, is actually trusting them with your heart. That means trusting them with all of the most fucked up parts of you. We can hate ourselves as much as we want, but at the end of the day, it's unfair to try and omit that shit from our lovers. You just gotta let them love you despite your fuck-ups and your flaws.
For what it's worth, I don't think Kyle's situation should be used to terrorize all of us for the bad what-ifs. We're all kinda different. It matters what you know you would hate to do if you were in your own right mind, right?
[ A part of Junpei knew Dirk would refuse to kill him. All the same, it was the amount of self-hatred he felt at the thought of ever hurting Natsume or Choso that way.
But he also knows Dirk is right. The both of them would be even more hurt if he were to die.
He listens to what the other has to say, mulling it over in his mind. ]
... I guess I'd just come back anyway. Kyle did. Then I'd have to see them upset that I even went through with it.
[ He sighs, a deep and pained thing. ]
I know you're right. I know it's out of my control, so I shouldn't waste time dwelling on it, but ... I wonder if I do these things because I feel guilty I'm getting comfortable.
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no subject
[ Oh. His voice takes on a really, really unsettling tone. Junpei is dipping into his darkness again. ]
... if I cheat. You can kill me.
[ Junpei? What the fuck? ]
Natsume wouldn't. Choso wouldn't. They'd just forgive me and suffer in private. They're too good.
no subject
(His tone is soft, frown evident.)
I get that it's probably what you would want emotionally, but you know that wouldn't be what Nat or Choso would want.
(He exhales slowly and the fucked up thing is he understood why Junpei would want that. It's what Dirk would want for himself if he ever did that kind of thing to Ken.)
Listen, man...At some point, you gotta...(There's some shifting around on his end and then another soft sigh.)
Part of loving someone, genuinely loving them, is actually trusting them with your heart. That means trusting them with all of the most fucked up parts of you. We can hate ourselves as much as we want, but at the end of the day, it's unfair to try and omit that shit from our lovers. You just gotta let them love you despite your fuck-ups and your flaws.
For what it's worth, I don't think Kyle's situation should be used to terrorize all of us for the bad what-ifs. We're all kinda different. It matters what you know you would hate to do if you were in your own right mind, right?
no subject
But he also knows Dirk is right. The both of them would be even more hurt if he were to die.
He listens to what the other has to say, mulling it over in his mind. ]
... I guess I'd just come back anyway. Kyle did. Then I'd have to see them upset that I even went through with it.
[ He sighs, a deep and pained thing. ]
I know you're right. I know it's out of my control, so I shouldn't waste time dwelling on it, but ... I wonder if I do these things because I feel guilty I'm getting comfortable.