I told you, it's for John! Completely him! I have a guy I like back home!
[more screaming into a pillow while resembling something like a tomato]
Because John is a good friend of mine and I don't think he'd ask something like that without a good reason. What that good reason is is completely beyond me, maybe he's wanting to know the details before he attempts to seduce you? Maybe he's comparing yours to his own? Maybe because he's just fucking with me? Any of those reasons could be why!
[she has ran out of reasons, but hopes that at least one will be good enough]
I don't know? I didn't even know you had a boyfriend. So maybe it's all just plain prurient interest on his part!
(He lets her sweat it out a bit. Puts his relic down and wanders off to give the impression that she went too far or some shit. But then he comes back a moment later.)
Honey, I could make anyone get over their past crushes.
Hmm. All right. To reward you for your selfless sacrifice for the dweeb's dare or whatever, I'll tell you the goods.
4.10 inches around. 7.4 inches long. Not circumcised. Balls shaved. Pubes are neatly trimmed. Asshole waxed.
You are so welcome, baby girl. I hope you have that information seared into your memory for the rest of your life.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
it's so funny
Give me a thesis statement supporting the reason why I should give you intimate details of my genitalia.
(He has absolutely no concern at all for who knows about his dick, frankly, but of course, he is going to be difficult about this.)
What will my poor boyfriend think if I just go around telling people about my meat stick all willy-nilly?
Bella may or may not be screaming into a pillow before responding!
[more screaming into a pillow while resembling something like a tomato]
Because John is a good friend of mine and I don't think he'd ask something like that without a good reason. What that good reason is is completely beyond me, maybe he's wanting to know the details before he attempts to seduce you? Maybe he's comparing yours to his own? Maybe because he's just fucking with me? Any of those reasons could be why!
[she has ran out of reasons, but hopes that at least one will be good enough]
I don't know? I didn't even know you had a boyfriend. So maybe it's all just plain prurient interest on his part!
hasnt she suffered ENUFF
Honey, I could make anyone get over their past crushes.
Hmm. All right. To reward you for your selfless sacrifice for the dweeb's dare or whatever, I'll tell you the goods.
4.10 inches around. 7.4 inches long. Not circumcised. Balls shaved. Pubes are neatly trimmed. Asshole waxed.
You are so welcome, baby girl. I hope you have that information seared into your memory for the rest of your life.
NO! (β_β;)
I am absolutely selfless and if John doesn't remember that fact, I'll do whatever I can think of to make his live a living hell.
...okay. That's a lot to take in.
And don't you dare make a joke about taking in!
Believe me, it will be. I'll go to my deathbed with that information still in my brain somewhere, along with ninth grade algebra.