Because if you did, you realize I would be morally obligated to kick your ass, right? Which, don't get me wrong, I have no problem doing. It's just I got shit to do later.
Dude, what? No. Fuck off with that nonsense. This ain't punishment.
Listen. You were dating the Mage of Doom. Probably the unluckiest bastard in my timeline. I ain't saying this shit to make you feel bad, but any relationship with that guy was pretty literally doomed to fail. Like. That's not a judgment on you or him. Shit's just kinda inevitable with us players.
Not that it means fuck all to you, but seriously, it has nothing to do with being a good or bad person. This shit happens.
i refuse to blame him being doomed. he wasn't doomed. he was beautiful and funny and he could do so much if he wanted to. if he's mage of doom, then whatever, he can control his doomedness, i bet. nothing is inevitable. i hope he's happier back home.
excuse me, i said days when i meant years. fuck even my jokes are shitty. everything sucks.
anyway see you soon.
[He does eventually turn up on Dirk and Kaneki's doorstep, red eyed and frizzy haired and looking quite a bit like a lost puppy. A puppy that fell into a pool of Franzia maybe.]
(He won't grind into Kyle too much out of sheer pity. When Kyle arrives at his place not too long after, Dirk opens the door and gives him a long look before clicking his tongue.)
Yeah, you look about how I expected you would.
(He steps aside, swinging the door open wide to let Kyle in.)
If I were single, just know that I would totally give you a rebound recovery fuck outta pity, man. Instead, I got a fuckton of tequila.
[Kyle shuffles in, not even mad about the idea of being a pity fuck. On some level he recognises that Dirk really does mean well in his own peculiar way.
He rubs the heels of his hands shadowy his eyes.]
Tequila sounds fantastic. My boyfriend left me, let's destroy my liver.
Really though...If Kaneki were to suddenly up and vanish, the entire realm of Folkmore would have been nuked by now. As far as Dirk was concerned, Kyle was doing all right.
And because he's become something of a slightly better person because of his boyfriend, he thinks to reach out to Kyle and slide a hand over Kyle's shoulders before tugging him against his side in a partial hug, a partial way to drag him along.)
I'm sorry, man. I'd go fuckin' batshit if I were in your spot. (He squeezes Kyle. It doesn't take long to make it to the living room which he had already stocked up with snacks and booze.)
[Kyle, touchy feely creature that he is, melts against Dirk and lets himself be steered along. He drops onto the couch with a watery sigh.
Really, considering that Kyle does seem to be destructive quite by accident when he's angry, Folkmore is probably lucky that for the moment at least he's just depressed.]
I feel so stupid. Just... so fucking stupid.
[He's going straight for the tequila, pouring shots.]
I should have known. You know? I just feel so stupid.
Uhm. Yeah, okay. Put on... I dunno. A horror movie.
(Dirk doesn't bother with any mixers. He takes one of those shots for himself and throws it back. It took a bit to get him drunk, he discovered, but straight shots would get the job done.
He relaxes on the couch and pulls up The Shining because it's a classic and he figures it fits the parameters well enough. He doubted it would matter anyway.)
No reason for you to feel stupid, man. It's not like you can control how this place functions.
[Kyle, on the other hand, is a lightweight. He's already a little drunk from sad!wine.
He wipes at his eyes angrily.]
I blew it. I finally get over the guy I've been in love with my whole life and get a shot with someone amazing... and I turn into a vampire ho and lose him, win him back, and then lose him for good. I didn't deserve him.
[He studies his tequila brute throwing it back with a wince.]
Love ain't about what we do or don't deserve, Kyle.
(He had learned that by now. Although it was something he still struggled with, so he couldn't hold it against Kyle too much.)
Maybe he set you free, you know? Showed you that you could move on. Sometimes we just need that push. Maybe that shit was his own way of being your familiar or whatever.
(Not that it made it feel better...He takes a nother shot and snorts.)
No offense, Kyle, but that's the stupidest thing you've ever said.
I guess not. But it sure feels that way. It feels like I ruined it by being a jackass.
He did help me. A lot.
[He snuffles and takes his shot before he can start crying.]
No, it isn't. And I'm serious. Never ever falling in love again. I have my friends and a low sex drive. It's fine. I'll focus on... on the betterment of society!
Okay, so, let's say you did ruin it by being a jackass. Learn from that shit going forward. Don't make the same mistakes twice.
(Easier said than done, but hey. He takes another shot. But at that whole "betterment of society" bullshit, Dirk tips his head to stare at Kyle, allowing his glasses to actually slide down the bridge of his nose so he could fix Kyle with a steady, orange gaze.)
[Dirk's eyes are strange, but somehow very pretty.
Kyle looks back, defiant. It lasts all of five seconds; his expression trembles, and then he buries his face in his hands. His skinny shoulders shake as he sobs in great, oddly silent gasps.]
I miss him so much. I hate this. I can't do this again.
Okay, he can handle this. He slides an arm over Kyle's shoulders and tugs him against his side, sighing.)
I know, man. I know. (And he did. Heartbreak was absolutely goddamn miserable and he remembered a time when he thought he would never find love after Jake English. He slides his fingers into Kyle's hair to gently rub small circles.)
It's gonna suck for a while. Maybe even forever. I don't know. But you ain't alone.
[Kyle, for all his attempts to be rational, is an emotional person. He's only slightly embarrassed about leaning into Dirk and bawling because Dirk is a friend.
Nobody can cry forever. Kyle tapers off to watery hiccups, eyes sore and nose stuffed up.]
...be right back.
[He stumbles off the couch, heading to the bathroom so he can blow his nose and splash cold water on his face. He looks like hell - even his multiple wings look ragged.
Kyle returns to the couch, sitting hunched over. He takes some crackers from the table to nibble on. Miserably.]
I know I have you guys.
[He summons a wobbly smile.]
Which I appreciate. You and Ken and Nat and Junpei. I have you guys. I can be your third and fourth wheel.
[It's meant to be a joke, but it hits a sore spot. Kyle clears his throat, angry at himself.]
Sorry. Uhm. But I mean it about the appreciation. I don't need anything else.
(Some part of Dirk felt bad on a personal level. It wasn't like he could do shit all about it, but he ragged on Kyle enough in the past about relationship stuff that he sure as hell hoped Kyle wouldn't hear that shit echoing in his mind.)
Yeah, but I get it. It fucking sucks being a third and fourth wheel.
(Feeling like everyone else had better luck with romance than you ever did.)
I ain't gonna subject you to that, okay?
(Hmm...maybe not but...)
You should let me take care of you. (Well, okay that's really vague, Dirk.)
I mean like. Let me fix your hair and wings and shit.
[Unfortunately, Kyle has definitely absorbed every negative thing anyone has ever said about how he handles relationships. He's an overdramatic bitch often, but he really does mean it when he says he has no intention of approaching romance ever again.]
Dude, hey, it's okay. I actually really like hanging out with you guys. It's fun.
[He blinks.] Uh...
Oh! Oh. [He looks at his wings with vague annoyance.] They do look like shit, huh? I dunno why. I'm not doing anything different.
But, sure. Go nuts. I don't want people thinking I'm molting.
Kyle, literally no one who just went through a fucked up relationship situation wants to be around people in happy relationships.
(Dirk is the exact same way. He loathed people's happiness sometimes, and he also ran the worst things people have said to him over and over again in his mind.)
Stress can fuck you up.
(Dirk nods, gesturing for Kyle to come closer.)
Turn around. I used to take care of the seagulls. It'll feel good.
I dunno. I'd probably do that. At least for a little while.
(He knew he had the social maturity of a brick. He begins to carefully move his fingers through Kyle's wings.)
Mmhm. Back when I was a kid, seagulls would always chill on the rooftop of my place. They were annoying as fuck sometimes, but I guess they made all right company.
(They were also like...the only flesh and blood creature he had any consistent relationship with in person for the first sixteen years of his life...So he might be a little biased toward the feathery bastards and anything else with wings.)
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Please tell me you didn't cheat again.
Because if you did, you realize I would be morally obligated to kick your ass, right? Which, don't get me wrong, I have no problem doing. It's just I got shit to do later.
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he's gone. like he's nowhere, i looked like all over. he must have been sent home.
this is my punishment, isn't it? for being a bad person.
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Well. Fuck.
(...Shit now he actually feels kind of bad.)
Dude, what? No. Fuck off with that nonsense. This ain't punishment.
Listen. You were dating the Mage of Doom. Probably the unluckiest bastard in my timeline. I ain't saying this shit to make you feel bad, but any relationship with that guy was pretty literally doomed to fail. Like. That's not a judgment on you or him. Shit's just kinda inevitable with us players.
Not that it means fuck all to you, but seriously, it has nothing to do with being a good or bad person. This shit happens.
Do you want to get white girl wasted?
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i refuse to blame him being doomed. he wasn't doomed. he was beautiful and funny and he could do so much if he wanted to. if he's mage of doom, then whatever, he can control his doomedness, i bet. nothing is inevitable.
i hope he's happier back home.
yeah. i do.
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(He didn't have it in his heart to press the matter. Did it really matter to insist on the statistic probability of this situation being godawful?)
Maybe you're right. Who knows. At least you got to have him while he was here. Memories and all that shit, I don't know.
(He's not sentimental, okay.)
Dope. Do you want to go out somewhere or just come chill at my place?
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yours. and if i get lost in the desert it's fine, my people made it 40 fucking days who cares.
i'm headed out.
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Don't be so dramatic, dude. If you get lost, I'll just come find your scrawny pathetic ass.
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anyway see you soon.
[He does eventually turn up on Dirk and Kaneki's doorstep, red eyed and frizzy haired and looking quite a bit like a lost puppy. A puppy that fell into a pool of Franzia maybe.]
Hey, dude.
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(He won't grind into Kyle too much out of sheer pity. When Kyle arrives at his place not too long after, Dirk opens the door and gives him a long look before clicking his tongue.)
Yeah, you look about how I expected you would.
(He steps aside, swinging the door open wide to let Kyle in.)
If I were single, just know that I would totally give you a rebound recovery fuck outta pity, man. Instead, I got a fuckton of tequila.
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[Kyle shuffles in, not even mad about the idea of being a pity fuck. On some level he recognises that Dirk really does mean well in his own peculiar way.
He rubs the heels of his hands shadowy his eyes.]
Tequila sounds fantastic. My boyfriend left me, let's destroy my liver.
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(It's how he Cares.
Really though...If Kaneki were to suddenly up and vanish, the entire realm of Folkmore would have been nuked by now. As far as Dirk was concerned, Kyle was doing all right.
And because he's become something of a slightly better person because of his boyfriend, he thinks to reach out to Kyle and slide a hand over Kyle's shoulders before tugging him against his side in a partial hug, a partial way to drag him along.)
I'm sorry, man. I'd go fuckin' batshit if I were in your spot. (He squeezes Kyle. It doesn't take long to make it to the living room which he had already stocked up with snacks and booze.)
We can watch whatever you want.
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Really, considering that Kyle does seem to be destructive quite by accident when he's angry, Folkmore is probably lucky that for the moment at least he's just depressed.]
I feel so stupid. Just... so fucking stupid.
[He's going straight for the tequila, pouring shots.]
I should have known. You know? I just feel so stupid.
Uhm. Yeah, okay. Put on... I dunno. A horror movie.
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He relaxes on the couch and pulls up The Shining because it's a classic and he figures it fits the parameters well enough. He doubted it would matter anyway.)
No reason for you to feel stupid, man. It's not like you can control how this place functions.
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He wipes at his eyes angrily.]
I blew it. I finally get over the guy I've been in love with my whole life and get a shot with someone amazing... and I turn into a vampire ho and lose him, win him back, and then lose him for good. I didn't deserve him.
[He studies his tequila brute throwing it back with a wince.]
That's it. I'm done. Never again.
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(He had learned that by now. Although it was something he still struggled with, so he couldn't hold it against Kyle too much.)
Maybe he set you free, you know? Showed you that you could move on. Sometimes we just need that push. Maybe that shit was his own way of being your familiar or whatever.
(Not that it made it feel better...He takes a nother shot and snorts.)
No offense, Kyle, but that's the stupidest thing you've ever said.
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I guess not. But it sure feels that way. It feels like I ruined it by being a jackass.
He did help me. A lot.
[He snuffles and takes his shot before he can start crying.]
No, it isn't. And I'm serious. Never ever falling in love again. I have my friends and a low sex drive. It's fine. I'll focus on... on the betterment of society!
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(Easier said than done, but hey. He takes another shot. But at that whole "betterment of society" bullshit, Dirk tips his head to stare at Kyle, allowing his glasses to actually slide down the bridge of his nose so he could fix Kyle with a steady, orange gaze.)
Bro. Be for fuckin' real.
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Kyle looks back, defiant. It lasts all of five seconds; his expression trembles, and then he buries his face in his hands. His skinny shoulders shake as he sobs in great, oddly silent gasps.]
I miss him so much. I hate this. I can't do this again.
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Okay, he can handle this. He slides an arm over Kyle's shoulders and tugs him against his side, sighing.)
I know, man. I know. (And he did. Heartbreak was absolutely goddamn miserable and he remembered a time when he thought he would never find love after Jake English. He slides his fingers into Kyle's hair to gently rub small circles.)
It's gonna suck for a while. Maybe even forever. I don't know. But you ain't alone.
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Nobody can cry forever. Kyle tapers off to watery hiccups, eyes sore and nose stuffed up.]
...be right back.
[He stumbles off the couch, heading to the bathroom so he can blow his nose and splash cold water on his face. He looks like hell - even his multiple wings look ragged.
Kyle returns to the couch, sitting hunched over. He takes some crackers from the table to nibble on. Miserably.]
I know I have you guys.
[He summons a wobbly smile.]
Which I appreciate. You and Ken and Nat and Junpei. I have you guys. I can be your third and fourth wheel.
[It's meant to be a joke, but it hits a sore spot. Kyle clears his throat, angry at himself.]
Sorry. Uhm. But I mean it about the appreciation. I don't need anything else.
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Yeah, but I get it. It fucking sucks being a third and fourth wheel.
(Feeling like everyone else had better luck with romance than you ever did.)
I ain't gonna subject you to that, okay?
(Hmm...maybe not but...)
You should let me take care of you. (Well, okay that's really vague, Dirk.)
I mean like. Let me fix your hair and wings and shit.
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Dude, hey, it's okay. I actually really like hanging out with you guys. It's fun.
[He blinks.] Uh...
Oh! Oh. [He looks at his wings with vague annoyance.] They do look like shit, huh? I dunno why. I'm not doing anything different.
But, sure. Go nuts. I don't want people thinking I'm molting.
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(Dirk is the exact same way. He loathed people's happiness sometimes, and he also ran the worst things people have said to him over and over again in his mind.)
Stress can fuck you up.
(Dirk nods, gesturing for Kyle to come closer.)
Turn around. I used to take care of the seagulls. It'll feel good.
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[Kyle does as he's bid, eyebrows lifting.]
Seagulls?
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(He knew he had the social maturity of a brick. He begins to carefully move his fingers through Kyle's wings.)
Mmhm. Back when I was a kid, seagulls would always chill on the rooftop of my place. They were annoying as fuck sometimes, but I guess they made all right company.
(They were also like...the only flesh and blood creature he had any consistent relationship with in person for the first sixteen years of his life...So he might be a little biased toward the feathery bastards and anything else with wings.)
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