Fuck no. John was a dumbass and made Dave in a lab using my genes combined with my friend's genes.
(God, he shudders to even think about sleeping with Roxy in general, but to have a kid?)
But time shenanigans happened so in his world, I'm his big brother. In my world, he's my big brother. We mostly see each other as brothers, though he knew his version of me more than I ever knew my version of him.
Hey, man. Karkat's the nicest dude in the universe.
(Dirk is mildly a DaveKat stan, okay, he absolutely rewrites history for them. Plus trolls could be cool.)
Yeah, well. (He shrugs.)
Kyle's gotta figure his shit out, dude. He cheated on his boyfriend when he had one, and now he wants to get involved in another relationship where cheating is pretty much inevitable given the circumstances.
I love him too, but that shit's sloppy from top to bottom, and all three of those dorks need to just fuckin' acknowledge that, or else it'll just get sloppier.
(Dirk sounds a bit harsher than normal, and well, he feels it! He has strong feelings against cheating.)
I can't relate to fuckin' any of ya'll. So I dunno what kind of advice I'm supposed to be giving to this fucked up cake of a relationship.
No. He's kind of a sap. And man, shut up. You can't compare human values to a literal alien race. That's shitty. You can't even imagine what their culture is like. It ain't so simple. I nearly killed someone over the same shit and would have finished it if I wasn't interrupted.
(Dirk was all too used to the violence of trolls and he didn't really hold it against them. After all, he was pretty violent himself. He wasn't that different from Sollux at all in that regard.)
Sucks to be him, I guess.
(Dirk, stop being so icy!)
It's not your responsibility to fix his shit, Junpei.
[ But. The second it’s out of his mouth there’s a pang of … well it’s a mix of regret and shame. Both because he doesn’t like being honestly angry at Dirk anymore - it hurts him on a level he doesn’t quite understand - and because he also almost killed someone once, albeit from a different kind of heartbreak. And there were definitely those that would consider him out of his mind.
But cowing totally isn’t really in his nature, and his protectiveness over Kyle is making him extra combative. ]
… he needs someone in his corner. Someone stable. Someone who won’t just leave him hanging. And he was there for me when I was a mess.
I’m not going to leave my friend to the wolves. I know it’s not the same for you, but … he’s just as important to me as Choso or Natsume. I couldn’t live with myself.
Yeah, no fucking shit. That's why we would have never worked out.
(He snaps back and this time, he isn't just icy. He's downright arctic. It was far from the first time anyone has said that kind of thing to him, and he knew it wouldn't be the last. He also knew that Junpei was right. Some small part of him wondered if, after all this time, he was the person who didn't deserve...)
Then stand in his corner, man. No one's fuckin' stopping you.
(He liked to think he was in Kyle's corner too, but maybe after all this time, he still wasn't that great of a friend either.)
Whatever, dude.
(The walls were sliding up, firmly in place. He had had a similar conversation with Kaneki that still felt fresh and sore, even if it had wound up okay at the end.)
Do you need anything else from me or are you just here to bitch about my brother existing inconveniently for your friend's romantic situation?
[ The comment feels like a knife through his heart. The impact is so sharp it catches Junpei off guard. He’s kind of left reeling from the pain in such a way it takes him a few seconds to recover.
And when he does, he hears his voice shaking. And feels tears coming.
No. You can’t cry in front of him. You can’t. Don’t do it. You’ve been through worse than this. ]
G-get over yourself. As if I’d want to be with you anyway.
[ And lower, in a whisper. ]
As if you’d have chosen someone like me anyway.
[ And the feed ends.
He runs out of the burrow in rabbit form, needing to find somewhere deep in the woods where Choso and Natsume won’t catch him sobbing. ]
(Dirk can hear the catch in Junpei's voice, can hear that wrecked emotion, and he feels a rush of anger and guilt alike. A defensiveness that made him want to break something, and hurt that just made him want to slide off somewhere and be alone indefinitely.
Things cool off. He wound up floating high up through the sky and settling as far as he could above Folkmore. He slips between his waking self and his dream self, finding a sweet spot in between where he didn't feel like he existed in any physical form at all. It isn't until night comes that Dirk moves, and when he does, he's taking out his relic and sending Junpei a small message:)
(For whatever reason, he hated fighting with Junpei more than anyone else. It always felt so personal and he couldn't understand it any better himself. There had been a lot of honesty when he had told Junpei that in another life, he could have loved him, and he thinks maybe that has to do with why Junpei could get to him like others couldn't.
He naturally wanted to rile Junpei up. Most of the time it was for fun and because it was cute seeing Junpei get so flustered so easily.
But then other times it meant it was easy to lash out when he was hurt and land an exact blow whenever he was defensive.)
I would never do that, Junpei. I couldn't even pretend to.
I told Choso and Natsume I’m out foraging so they wouldn’t worry but it’s so late I know I should head back.
But if I’m honest … if you hadn’t contacted me I don’t know if I’d be able to face them.
I don’t know why what you said hurt so badly. It shouldn’t. By all logic it shouldn’t matter.
But what I said for Kyle. I’d do the same for you. If you weren’t in a happy, loving situation. I want you to always be happy. I’m so glad everyday you’re cared for and loved. I want you protected. And safe.
Yeah, well. The same goes for you. You know that under different circumstances, I would have gone for you. There is nothing about you that is unlovable or bad, Junpei.
There is a reason you have two boyfriends who worship you. That ain't by chance or because they are both delusional. Any guy would be lucky to be with you.
Thank you. I'm not really sure I deserve all of that, sometimes, but I appreciate the sentiment. I want the same for you, and I'm glad you have it too.
And I do care about Kyle too. The situation is just difficult for me. I'm not the best with shit like cheating. Or with the idea of people being able to so easily move on. It hurts.
Nah, you don't. Do you want to grab a bite with me? I probably should eat too.
[ He feels the wound in his soul mending at the words on his screen. There's even a ghost of a smile starting to form on his lips. A blush on his cheeks. ]
And you are captivating in a way I can't quite articulate. Like seeing a cryptid up close and in the flesh. You're special. Anyone would feel special being able to have your attention and your very, very intense and sweet love. It's real. It's not the performative kind other pretty faces give out. Shallow or cheap. You love with every fiber of yourself, Dirk. Every atom. That's beautiful. Even your vulnerability is beautiful.
[ From a horror movie nerd like Junpei that's actually a compliment, weird as it sounds. ]
I'm not always so sure I deserve them either. But I don't think they're going anywhere.
That's probably one of the better compliments I've ever received. I dunno if I'd call it sweet, but...Thank you.
Thank you.
(Even as good of a connection as he had with Kaneki, he still had days where he worried about being too intense, too weird. Kaneki had their own struggles and they never held it against each other, but it was...always a little nice to have these things comforted.
And man, does Junpei know him better than most people probably even realize. He can feel some heat flushing across his face and getting him to blush was practically a miracle most days.)
Yeah, well. (KICKS FEET.)
I love your vulnerability too. I don't mean that in a condescending way. And I ain't trying to mimic you here. You're just...approachable and easy to talk to.
Guess it ain't up to us as to who we do or don't deserve.
Sweet. I'm flying to get you. I'll be there in a few.
[ A lot of the time when Junpei is stressed, he's taken to reverting to his rabbit form. It's perfect for hiding under the bed or in the woods. Being small and hard to find is somehow a comfort in a weird way.
But somehow, he feels like if anyone would understand, it would be Dirk.
He's sitting on a stump at the edge of the woods, looking up at the night sky for a sign of Dirk. He's sitting on his back legs, nose raised to the air and twitching. ]
(It doesn't take Dirk long to arrive where Junpei is. And he does get it. Sometimes it is easier to exist in a different state than your original. He lands down close by, his attention drawn to the familiar rabbit.)
Hey, bunny.
(His voice is low and warm. While he had always teased Junpei about being a bunny, there is something obviously gentler in his tone now, more like a fond old joke shared between two friends rather than him trying to annoy Junpei.)
Want me to carry you to dinner? I don't mind. (Listen...Junpei is still really cute, okay, especially as a bunny. Even Dirk is not strong against the bun.)
[ Junpei hops down off the stump and slowly over to Dirk. Purposely within easy scooping up distance. ]
Yeah. I'll change once we get there.
[ The softness of the other's voice ... feels good on his soul. Like a soothing balm is being poured over it. Something sorely needed after their little disagreement.
Once he's picked up he'll cuddle slightly against his friend. Staying in this form makes that action easier to perform as well. Doing it as a human would just feel too vulnerable. But it's normal and okay to cuddle a cute small animal. ]
That's fine with me. (He had an undeniable fondness for familiars at this point. Granted, who didn't like cute animals? But all the same, he really did believe that familiars were the best thing about this place.
In some odd way, Dirk needed to be kind too. Back when he was younger, he never knew how to act after fights - and he had plenty of vile ones where he had believed he nearly ruined entire relationships. He had been cold and vicious. Belligerent.
But he has changed since then, especially in Folkmore, and he realizes now that there was tremendous strength in just being good to someone you were angry with after apologies had been traded off. He wasn't good with emotions, no, but he was good at loving, and love Junpei he did, even if platonic. He grabs the familiar and huddles him right up against his chest, giving a small squeeze in a subtle huglike gesture.
He rubs Junpei's small, soft body and presses a simple kiss to the top of his head. He slowly floats up into the air, but he doesn't go too high, and he doesn't go too fast. Might as well enjoy the evening, because Junpei was right, it was a nice night.)
Yeah. It is. I've always preferred nighttime. Feels like everything is calmer.
[ The kiss isn’t expected. But it’s not unwelcome. Bunnies cannot blush, but what many people don’t know is that they can purr, and without even really thinking on it Junpei starts to do just that. A quiet, content rumble from deep within his furry little self.
Aside from his spat with Dirk, the Kyle situation had been stressing him out, as had little worries about his own relationship. While he and his boys never fought, he was getting more and more anxious about linking. What could go wrong. What if one of them vanished before they could go through with it?
To have this moment of understanding between the two of them … it felt good. Reflecting on where they’d once been, how he had assumed for so long they’d be totally distant forever and lying to himself that he was fine with that … ]
Yeah … night meant I didn’t have to be at school. So. I tended to prefer it.
[ He watches the scenery as they go. Quiet for a few moments. ]
I’m sorry I brought that mess on you. I didn’t … I wasn’t thinking. I should have known better.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
no subject
(God, he shudders to even think about sleeping with Roxy in general, but to have a kid?)
But time shenanigans happened so in his world, I'm his big brother. In my world, he's my big brother. We mostly see each other as brothers, though he knew his version of me more than I ever knew my version of him.
(God damn it, Homestuck.)
no subject
But wait.
John.
This John. Is he here?
no subject
(Exhale.)
Yeah, why? He's the hot dork with the glasses.
no subject
[ A sigh. A sigh that says he is incredibly stressed over this whole situation. ]
… Kyle is getting involved with him. But I was told John is also going to be dating Dave at the same time. So Kyle came to me for advice.
Are you telling me this guy created his own boyfriend?
no subject
They're all dumbasses. Dave's got a boyfriend back home. I dunno how any of 'em think that shit's gonna roll out.
(It was literally the last thing Dirk wanted to be involved with.)
Not intentionally. John had no real choice but to make all of us. He made himself too, technically speaking. It's paradox shit.
no subject
[ Junpei can’t really hide the discomfort in his voice. His opinion on trolls at this point isn’t the best. ]
I just … Kyle wanted advice but my relationship is NOTHING like his? Yes there are three of us but we’re all dating each other.
I just don’t want to see him in pain again, Dirk. He’s so …
… he’s more fragile than he thinks. It’s been tough seeing him keep getting shattered.
no subject
(Dirk is mildly a DaveKat stan, okay, he absolutely rewrites history for them. Plus trolls could be cool.)
Yeah, well. (He shrugs.)
Kyle's gotta figure his shit out, dude. He cheated on his boyfriend when he had one, and now he wants to get involved in another relationship where cheating is pretty much inevitable given the circumstances.
I love him too, but that shit's sloppy from top to bottom, and all three of those dorks need to just fuckin' acknowledge that, or else it'll just get sloppier.
(Dirk sounds a bit harsher than normal, and well, he feels it! He has strong feelings against cheating.)
I can't relate to fuckin' any of ya'll. So I dunno what kind of advice I'm supposed to be giving to this fucked up cake of a relationship.
no subject
[ Cheating or not he kind of still held a grudge on Sollux over that. ]
I told him to just roll with it. It’s too late anyway, he’s already got feelings for the guy. And if he dropped him he’d be miserable.
I feel like a piece of shit here with my … surprisingly smooth relationship while he’s always suffering.
no subject
(Dirk was all too used to the violence of trolls and he didn't really hold it against them. After all, he was pretty violent himself. He wasn't that different from Sollux at all in that regard.)
Sucks to be him, I guess.
(Dirk, stop being so icy!)
It's not your responsibility to fix his shit, Junpei.
no subject
[ But. The second it’s out of his mouth there’s a pang of … well it’s a mix of regret and shame. Both because he doesn’t like being honestly angry at Dirk anymore - it hurts him on a level he doesn’t quite understand - and because he also almost killed someone once, albeit from a different kind of heartbreak. And there were definitely those that would consider him out of his mind.
But cowing totally isn’t really in his nature, and his protectiveness over Kyle is making him extra combative. ]
… he needs someone in his corner. Someone stable. Someone who won’t just leave him hanging. And he was there for me when I was a mess.
I’m not going to leave my friend to the wolves. I know it’s not the same for you, but … he’s just as important to me as Choso or Natsume. I couldn’t live with myself.
no subject
(He snaps back and this time, he isn't just icy. He's downright arctic. It was far from the first time anyone has said that kind of thing to him, and he knew it wouldn't be the last. He also knew that Junpei was right. Some small part of him wondered if, after all this time, he was the person who didn't deserve...)
Then stand in his corner, man. No one's fuckin' stopping you.
(He liked to think he was in Kyle's corner too, but maybe after all this time, he still wasn't that great of a friend either.)
Whatever, dude.
(The walls were sliding up, firmly in place. He had had a similar conversation with Kaneki that still felt fresh and sore, even if it had wound up okay at the end.)
Do you need anything else from me or are you just here to bitch about my brother existing inconveniently for your friend's romantic situation?
no subject
And when he does, he hears his voice shaking. And feels tears coming.
No. You can’t cry in front of him. You can’t. Don’t do it. You’ve been through worse than this. ]
G-get over yourself. As if I’d want to be with you anyway.
[ And lower, in a whisper. ]
As if you’d have chosen someone like me anyway.
[ And the feed ends.
He runs out of the burrow in rabbit form, needing to find somewhere deep in the woods where Choso and Natsume won’t catch him sobbing. ]
no subject
Things cool off. He wound up floating high up through the sky and settling as far as he could above Folkmore. He slips between his waking self and his dream self, finding a sweet spot in between where he didn't feel like he existed in any physical form at all. It isn't until night comes that Dirk moves, and when he does, he's taking out his relic and sending Junpei a small message:)
I'm sorry.
no subject
His eyes are red. He’s been crying all day. His soul hurts.
Hurts too much to even try and feign an attitude.
He just wants them to be ok. ]
I hate fighting with you. Really fighting with you.
I know I’m as much at fault.
But please.
Never shut me out forever.
I couldn’t take that. I know that sounds dramatic but I can’t pretend.
no subject
(For whatever reason, he hated fighting with Junpei more than anyone else. It always felt so personal and he couldn't understand it any better himself. There had been a lot of honesty when he had told Junpei that in another life, he could have loved him, and he thinks maybe that has to do with why Junpei could get to him like others couldn't.
He naturally wanted to rile Junpei up. Most of the time it was for fun and because it was cute seeing Junpei get so flustered so easily.
But then other times it meant it was easy to lash out when he was hurt and land an exact blow whenever he was defensive.)
I would never do that, Junpei. I couldn't even pretend to.
Are you somewhere safe?
no subject
I told Choso and Natsume I’m out foraging so they wouldn’t worry but it’s so late I know I should head back.
But if I’m honest … if you hadn’t contacted me I don’t know if I’d be able to face them.
I don’t know why what you said hurt so badly. It shouldn’t. By all logic it shouldn’t matter.
But what I said for Kyle. I’d do the same for you. If you weren’t in a happy, loving situation. I want you to always be happy. I’m so glad everyday you’re cared for and loved. I want you protected. And safe.
I sound ridiculous. I need to eat.
no subject
There is a reason you have two boyfriends who worship you. That ain't by chance or because they are both delusional. Any guy would be lucky to be with you.
Thank you. I'm not really sure I deserve all of that, sometimes, but I appreciate the sentiment. I want the same for you, and I'm glad you have it too.
And I do care about Kyle too. The situation is just difficult for me. I'm not the best with shit like cheating. Or with the idea of people being able to so easily move on. It hurts.
Nah, you don't. Do you want to grab a bite with me? I probably should eat too.
no subject
And you are captivating in a way I can't quite articulate. Like seeing a cryptid up close and in the flesh. You're special. Anyone would feel special being able to have your attention and your very, very intense and sweet love. It's real. It's not the performative kind other pretty faces give out. Shallow or cheap. You love with every fiber of yourself, Dirk. Every atom. That's beautiful. Even your vulnerability is beautiful.
[ From a horror movie nerd like Junpei that's actually a compliment, weird as it sounds. ]
I'm not always so sure I deserve them either. But I don't think they're going anywhere.
Yeah. Let's do that.
And you can keep my DVD for awhile longer.
no subject
Thank you.
(Even as good of a connection as he had with Kaneki, he still had days where he worried about being too intense, too weird. Kaneki had their own struggles and they never held it against each other, but it was...always a little nice to have these things comforted.
And man, does Junpei know him better than most people probably even realize. He can feel some heat flushing across his face and getting him to blush was practically a miracle most days.)
Yeah, well. (KICKS FEET.)
I love your vulnerability too. I don't mean that in a condescending way. And I ain't trying to mimic you here. You're just...approachable and easy to talk to.
Guess it ain't up to us as to who we do or don't deserve.
Sweet. I'm flying to get you. I'll be there in a few.
no subject
But somehow, he feels like if anyone would understand, it would be Dirk.
He's sitting on a stump at the edge of the woods, looking up at the night sky for a sign of Dirk. He's sitting on his back legs, nose raised to the air and twitching. ]
no subject
Hey, bunny.
(His voice is low and warm. While he had always teased Junpei about being a bunny, there is something obviously gentler in his tone now, more like a fond old joke shared between two friends rather than him trying to annoy Junpei.)
Want me to carry you to dinner? I don't mind. (Listen...Junpei is still really cute, okay, especially as a bunny. Even Dirk is not strong against the bun.)
no subject
Yeah. I'll change once we get there.
[ The softness of the other's voice ... feels good on his soul. Like a soothing balm is being poured over it. Something sorely needed after their little disagreement.
Once he's picked up he'll cuddle slightly against his friend. Staying in this form makes that action easier to perform as well. Doing it as a human would just feel too vulnerable. But it's normal and okay to cuddle a cute small animal. ]
It's a nice night.
no subject
In some odd way, Dirk needed to be kind too. Back when he was younger, he never knew how to act after fights - and he had plenty of vile ones where he had believed he nearly ruined entire relationships. He had been cold and vicious. Belligerent.
But he has changed since then, especially in Folkmore, and he realizes now that there was tremendous strength in just being good to someone you were angry with after apologies had been traded off. He wasn't good with emotions, no, but he was good at loving, and love Junpei he did, even if platonic. He grabs the familiar and huddles him right up against his chest, giving a small squeeze in a subtle huglike gesture.
He rubs Junpei's small, soft body and presses a simple kiss to the top of his head. He slowly floats up into the air, but he doesn't go too high, and he doesn't go too fast. Might as well enjoy the evening, because Junpei was right, it was a nice night.)
Yeah. It is. I've always preferred nighttime. Feels like everything is calmer.
no subject
Aside from his spat with Dirk, the Kyle situation had been stressing him out, as had little worries about his own relationship. While he and his boys never fought, he was getting more and more anxious about linking. What could go wrong. What if one of them vanished before they could go through with it?
To have this moment of understanding between the two of them … it felt good. Reflecting on where they’d once been, how he had assumed for so long they’d be totally distant forever and lying to himself that he was fine with that … ]
Yeah … night meant I didn’t have to be at school. So. I tended to prefer it.
[ He watches the scenery as they go. Quiet for a few moments. ]
I’m sorry I brought that mess on you. I didn’t … I wasn’t thinking. I should have known better.
(no subject)
(no subject)