open post

[givehead]

MEMES ✦ PSLS ✦ SPILL OVER

CODE

Comments

[kyley_b]

i am not.

he is! yeah i can send you his instagram at least.

ok! i'm stoked. yeah, if you want to! i'm cool with either.

[givehead]

(He switches to audio and although he still speaks in a stoic way, his voice is lighter than usual. Kyle put him in a good mood.)

Okay, so, you gotta trust me on the first few episodes. You need to let it simmer like a fine wine sauce.

[kyley_b]

[It's a nice thing to hear. Plus Kyle likes his accent.]

Heh. That's code for "it's almost shit." But okay.

[givehead]

No, it's not almost shit, it just has a very specific tone. It's really cutesy and meant to feel surreal, so it's not the typical start most people anticipate.

(He's so defending this show to death.)

And it gets better after you watch it the first time.

[kyley_b]

Okay, okay. I swear I'll give it a fair shot.

[givehead]

(Hell yes. Dirk grunts in response, clearly invested in watching the show.

After they ease a bit into the show, Dirk pipes up:)

What wish would you make?

[kyley_b]

Ah, fuck. Hm. I dunno, wishes are always so... monkey's paw shit, you know? Like I have to fight witches and maybe die and what if they STILL shaft me on the wish?

I guess... I'd probably wish for something lame like world peace or a cure for cancer. You?

[givehead]

Yeah, that's the whole point.

(Dirk doesn't even miss a beat:)

Self-lubricating asshole.

[kyley_b]

[Kyle cackles.]

Dirk, you dirty bastard. Good one.

[givehead]

Dude, I'm a genius. Could you imagine Kyubey's face? Just "...excuse the fuck outta me." All their powers are related to their wishes too, right, so like...

(Dirk hums.)

I bet I'd just look like a bondage stripper. It would be so cool.

[kyley_b]

Oh my god you just like... have a superpowered jet of asslube...

You probably would!

[givehead]

I could fit so many dicks up my asshole.

(He literally sighs dreamily.)

[kyley_b]

Is. Uhm. That something you've done?

[He's so red. Thank god it's not video.]

[givehead]

(God, he loved talking to this guy.)

What do you think the answer is?

[kyley_b]

...yes?

Which is fine! I am NOT sex shaming you, I am super positive!

[givehead]

Only in my dreams, Broflovski.

(This dude was so cute it was unreal. What the hell.)

But I have used two dildos at once which was pretty fun.

[kyley_b]

Oh. Oh my goddddd. I am... so stupid, wow wait really?

[givehead]

You're not that stupid. I'm flattered you think my game's that good.

(He smirks.) Yes, really. I like to see what my body can handle and not just when it comes to fighting.

[kyley_b]

Well. Yeah. You're very open minded and good looking.

Don't you get scared? [Oh wow, what a pussy thing to say.] I mean not of dongs, of like... getting hurt, I guess.

[givehead]

Thanks. (A beat.) I don't really live in a convenient situation. Actually getting laid isn't an option.

(Might as well admit it. It's a reasonable question though.)

I was scared the first time I fingered myself. (Dirk hesitates, adjusting his glasses, not that Kyle could see.) First time I used an actual dildo I was paranoid it was going to get stuck. But you get to know your body and can make reasonable adjustments and estimations. After that, it's all logic.

[kyley_b]

Oh no? That happens, it has nothing to do with your game. What's so inconvenient about it? You don't have to tell me if you don't want to.

Yeah. Yeah, that's true. [People can't sense blushing, can they? No, of course not.] I think maybe I just get kind of freaked out easy over body stuff.

[givehead]

(Dirk sighs quietly.) It's not that I don't want to tell you, it's just that no one really believes it when I tell them, so I just don't really bother anymore.

(No, definitely not. Of course not.)

In general or sexually?

[kyley_b]

...I'd believe you. [Said softly, but firmly.]

In general. I had a lot of weird stuff happen to me as a kid. I was sick a lot.

[givehead]

(The thing is, he kind of believes Kyle. Kyle was too genuine of a guy. Still, something makes him hesitate. He refused to call it nerves.)

Do you believe in things like time travel?

Yeah? I've never really been sick. (Which happens in total isolation, but you know.) What's it like being sick?

[kyley_b]

[Kyle hums thoughtfully.] Y-eeeeees... Is this about the job market?

It sucks. I still get sick more than I should, probably, even though I use hand sanitizer all the fucking time... Anyway. If you have a cold or something you feel tired and your body aches and you're all snotty.

When I was little I got real sick and almost died once. That was just like having no energy at all. Like sitting up was hard, and I'd sweat and my heart felt irregular and I couldn't see very well sometimes. So. Yeah.

Not that that has anything to do with dicks, that's I guess from other stuff.