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inbox | timaeusTestified (deer country)
Dirk has set up a new autoresponder option known as Anti-Dirk. Anti-Dirk will speak on Dirk's behalf if Dirk is preoccupied elsewhere. Please clarify in your header if you would like to have Anti-Dirk respond to your character. This will provide a more candid interaction with Dirk. They will automatically get the following response to begin a conversation:
Hello. It seems you are trying to reach Dirk Strider. If you would like to get a quick idea of what he would say, I would be happy to help. I am ANTI-DIRK and will be able to provide answers based on his subconscious patterns of speech and emotions. How can I help you today?
no subject
would you maybe be down for hunting down one of those Patron Pthumerians?
Varian's Patron Pthumerian?
he'skind of got a lot of stuff going on and he's getting worse
and i think maybe The Tower can help fix him?
but the only times i've confronted cosmic beings was basically to just punch them
which i'm totally prepared to do here but i figure it might be a good idea to ask the guy first?
i don't know what do you think?
no subject
Yeah, in my experience, cosmic beings usually want to throw it down rather than attempt fixing anything. We can try to reason first. I'm definitely bringing my sword though because gods are all semi-irrational. It's impossible not to get a bit of a complex as a god.
Maybe if we offer him some small sacrifice or gift he might be more receptive to a conversation about helping Varian out.
no subject
[A sacrifice? He considers that for about two seconds, but he can't imagine giving someone who has been letting Varian get worse and worse a gift.]
no way
no gifts
this guy doesn't deserve a gift
especially if you're right
ok i've been talking to a bunch of hunters and i think he's out in Gaze
just hanging out being weird
i can meet you out there
no subject
We can meet near Gaze. We should go in together. The last thing we need is to be caught off guard going in there solo.
Listen, this is going to sound weird, but if he kills me, don't sweat it. I'll just come back in a few seconds probably. If not, still don't sweat it. I'll work it out. Just keep doing whatever you need to do.
You don't have to do this, but kissing my dead body usually speeds up the resurrection process. Considering we're going to save your boyfriend, that's obviously not a come-on. Just a fact.
Do you want me to bring anything else? Can you fly?
no subject
the last thing i wanna do is make those donks think it's cool to let the people they're protecting get hurt
ok, sounds good
wait hold up
kissing are you serious
uh ok what kind of smooching?
on the lips is off limits but if it works with something platonic that should be ok
i can't fly but i should be ok, i got my swords and axe
not sure we need anything else
cw: kinda necrophilia but not really
Yes. Back in our game session, you could jump-start someone's extra life with a smack on the lips. Pretty sure most of us had our first kisses with each other's dead bodies. Nah it was just a peck on the mouth. Don't think other kind of kissing would work since it was meant to be Symbolic or what the fuck ever.
Don't sweat it if you don't want to. But it is good to know for the future anyway.
I have a hoverboard you can use if you want. It's basically a skateboard but it can fly.
Sweet.
cw: kinda necrophilia but not really
wow geez
ok sorry if i wasn't dating Varian then i'd say sure, it's for a good cause, but i don't think it's a good idea
i can give a forehead smooch a try though, on the off chance it's enough to work
a hoverboard??? oh my Glob man that's so cool
hoverboard me up!!
Re: cw: kinda necrophilia but not really
Hell yeah. Okay, I will see you in a few.
Re: cw: kinda necrophilia but not really
right
see you soon