inbox | timaeusTestified (deer country)

[givehead]

TEXT ✦ AUDIO ✦ VIDEO ✦ ACTION
HOME

CODE

ANTI-DIRK OPTION

Dirk has set up a new autoresponder option known as Anti-Dirk. Anti-Dirk will speak on Dirk's behalf if Dirk is preoccupied elsewhere. Please clarify in your header if you would like to have Anti-Dirk respond to your character. This will provide a more candid interaction with Dirk. They will automatically get the following response to begin a conversation:

Hello. It seems you are trying to reach Dirk Strider. If you would like to get a quick idea of what he would say, I would be happy to help. I am ANTI-DIRK and will be able to provide answers based on his subconscious patterns of speech and emotions. How can I help you today?

Comments

Delivery; Several Days After Their Conversation

[lightthedarkness]

[While Usagi has absolutely NO idea where Dirk is staying, she DOES know that the Omens are gonna Omen and are able to do what they do best so she sends a bright orange birthday present with her margay, Lua.

When he opens it, there will be a little card. Inside the gift, as promised is a jacket with orange accents. It being December, snowing, and leather is really what made it easy as hell to get right now.

The card reads:]

Happy birthday, Dirk-san!

Hope this helps keep you warm during the winter!

Sincerely,
Usagi Tsukino

yessssssss

[givehead]

(He wasn't actually expecting an actual jacket, but when he gets it, he is positively delighted. It's perfect to his style and he instantly puts it on, flaunting around in front of a mirror for almost an hour.

Once he gets over peacocking, he immediately texts her:)

Girl, this is the coolest thing anyone has made me in a real long time. It's perfect. Thank you.

Your omen is really cute too BTW.

I will make you something too. I know your patron colors, but do you need anything in particular? Like anything a lot? Give me the deets.

[lightthedarkness]

Awww yay! I'm glad you like it! I didn't know what size to get you so I hope it's not too big or too small! I'll give you the name of the seamstress, she's AMAZING with leather, I've like, ten leather rose hairpieces from her and two bags and a jacket. Just a complete artist with leather, I'm telling you.

And thank you, her name is Lua! She's a margay, which I have no idea EXACTLY what any of that means other than she's a wild cat from like, the rainforest.

Well, I never say no to a nice cute dress!

[givehead]

It fits like a glove. I love leather. Never had much access to it back in my home. I'd appreciate that.

She's a really sweetie. I've got a seagull named Atlas. He'll be flying around.

Cute dress for a cute gal. I can do that. I'll hook you up. I got a few ideas rolling around I'll draft up to get to someone in the market.

[lightthedarkness]

EEEeeeeee! I'm so glad! And I will absolutely introduce you to her. She deserves all the business! OH! If you want her to like you instantly, bring her shells for trade. She's terrified of the water so she can never bring herself to the beach to collect them. So I bring them to her! And boom! Rose hairclip in return. I've got the entire rainbow, black, white, and glitter. [Because that's obviously its own color for Usagi.]

Aww cute! And she is! She can purr too, which it's just so freaking adorable. Her name means moon in Portuguese, actually! Which is perfect for a moony bunny like me. The only way I could be happier is if I had Lua and Luna, my kitty from back home.

Well! If you need some help with THAT, don't hesitate to call, shopping is my fourth favorite hobby after eating, sleeping, and video games. But I'm so good at it more than a few people have recommended I be a personal shopper for people.

[givehead]

Good to know. I'll make sure to collect a bunch. I grew up surrounded by water my whole life. I'm a pro with it. I'll collect a stash for you to use too.

Glitter? Fuck, that's so dope. (Usagi is right.)

He is pretty cute even if he's a little annoying sometimes. My best bud loved cats too. Purrs are adorable. A moony bunny? Are you holding out on me? Are you a furry?

(There's SOMETHING itching at his head here but he can't...put...a finger on it.)

All perfect hobbies. A personal shopper would be a sick job. I've never actually gone properly shopping before. But I come from a place that was sort of post-apocalyptic so the shopping options were literally non-existent. We'll definitely hit up some stores.

[lightthedarkness]

You know, the more we talk, the more awesome you become.

RIGHT? Oh my gosh, it's my absolute favorite. I don't even know HOW but she embedded it into the leather itself so it doesn't get all over my hair and clothes and leaves the leather all bare in spots. It's honestly ALL over ALL the time. I love it.

No, not a furry. [Whatever... that is? Usagi's knowledge of kink culture is not all that vast, despite her very positive attitude towards sex. But, Usagi is also aware her kinks are relatively vanilla. Not even cosplay in the bedroom is really all that "out there."]

Just my name means "Rabbit of the Moon" in Japanese, and I've got bunnies on nearly everything I own in some way or another. Even my stationary. Cats ARE my favorite, though.

Oh... I'm sorry about your world.

Christmas Delivery

[lightthedarkness]

[Wrapped up in a bright red and white box is a plate of bought snowflake cookies and a orange bracelet that's handmade.

Attached is a note with a little rabbit doodle:]

Happy Holidays!
Love,
Usagi

Re: Christmas Delivery

[givehead]

(Yeah, okay, so he would absolutely die for this chick and he's barely known her for more than a month. The brace is immediately put on - where it was going to remain indefinitely.

A few days after Christmas (because frankly, Dirk barely understands Christmas or holidays in general) Dirk sends his own gift. His comes in a box with pink and white wrapping paper.

Inside is a handmade incense holder with a small lunar orb at its core. Both a perfect night light and an aid against corruption. There is also a pair of pink ear muffs. The final gift is a dress he had promised a while back. A simple note is attached:)

Thanks for the gifts, Bunny. The cookies were bitching and someone would have to kill me to get this bracelet off of me.

Hope these match your aesthetic.

<3 Dirk

Christmas Delivery

[lightthedarkness]

Awww I'm so glad you like it, Dirk-kun! I made it myself, actually! Not the cookies though, still can't bake those. They're good though, right? I bought out the whole store.

Wanna know the best part, about the bracelet, I mean?

The stone? It's doused in incense oil, if you need it as emergency incense, just throw it into a fire, but the stone won't even be affected. You can put it in incense oil as often as you want to make it an emergency supply again.

And I ADORE EVERYTHING you made me, Dirk-kun! I absolutely will use ALL of it.

text; un: doublehedgedsword; early January

[laminae]

[Fern isn't sure about sending this message. He's pretty sure he's going to sound crazy, and maybe he is a little. At this point he's absolutely desperate to try anything that might help Varian, no matter how ridiculous the idea.

If there's anyone here who could help him it'd be another god.]

hey dog i got a question for you
a god-related question
feel free to say no to it

text

[givehead]

Sup, bro?
I'm always down for cosmic and god-related questions. What's happening?

(Color him immediately intrigued. He's getting restless here.)

[laminae]

ok so
would you maybe be down for hunting down one of those Patron Pthumerians?
Varian's Patron Pthumerian?
he'skind of got a lot of stuff going on and he's getting worse
and i think maybe The Tower can help fix him?
but the only times i've confronted cosmic beings was basically to just punch them
which i'm totally prepared to do here but i figure it might be a good idea to ask the guy first?
i don't know what do you think?

[givehead]

Oh fuck yeah. Already getting my sword ready.

Yeah, in my experience, cosmic beings usually want to throw it down rather than attempt fixing anything. We can try to reason first. I'm definitely bringing my sword though because gods are all semi-irrational. It's impossible not to get a bit of a complex as a god.

Maybe if we offer him some small sacrifice or gift he might be more receptive to a conversation about helping Varian out.

[laminae]

cool, you're probably gonna need it

[A sacrifice? He considers that for about two seconds, but he can't imagine giving someone who has been letting Varian get worse and worse a gift.]

no way
no gifts
this guy doesn't deserve a gift
especially if you're right

ok i've been talking to a bunch of hunters and i think he's out in Gaze
just hanging out being weird
i can meet you out there

[givehead]

No gifts then. Going for the throat. I like your style, man.

We can meet near Gaze. We should go in together. The last thing we need is to be caught off guard going in there solo.

Listen, this is going to sound weird, but if he kills me, don't sweat it. I'll just come back in a few seconds probably. If not, still don't sweat it. I'll work it out. Just keep doing whatever you need to do.

You don't have to do this, but kissing my dead body usually speeds up the resurrection process. Considering we're going to save your boyfriend, that's obviously not a come-on. Just a fact.

Do you want me to bring anything else? Can you fly?

[laminae]

thanks
the last thing i wanna do is make those donks think it's cool to let the people they're protecting get hurt

ok, sounds good

wait hold up
kissing are you serious

uh ok what kind of smooching?
on the lips is off limits but if it works with something platonic that should be ok

i can't fly but i should be ok, i got my swords and axe
not sure we need anything else

Voice; un: ...

[opress]

[Savage has literally never done this before. Not in his village. Not in Deerington. Not in Trench. This was new territory, but honestly, he'd been spying on Maul doing seemingly normalized offers like this and it hadn't gone down in flames?

So. He'd give it a try. He'd developed enough comfort with Dirk to at least see if this was possible. This was 'normal' right.]

Do you want to go to The Red?

[That's it. That's the question. No explanation, no clarification, not even offering to go with him.]

voice

[givehead]

(This was unexpected. Maybe it was because he had never grown up in a society with events like this. Or maybe it was because he didn't expect his friends with benefit to really care to be seen with him in public. Maybe it was everything. Either way, it gets a smile out of Dirk.)

I do have some killer outfits for it. I'll be the prettiest belle at the ball.

(Laying that accent on thick.)

Do you want to go?

(Because yes he noticed the lack of clarification. He'll tease his way into this.)

cw: kinda necrophilia but not really

[givehead]

Donks is the best word ever, holy shit. I'm stealing that if you don't mind.

Yes. Back in our game session, you could jump-start someone's extra life with a smack on the lips. Pretty sure most of us had our first kisses with each other's dead bodies. Nah it was just a peck on the mouth. Don't think other kind of kissing would work since it was meant to be Symbolic or what the fuck ever.

Don't sweat it if you don't want to. But it is good to know for the future anyway.

I have a hoverboard you can use if you want. It's basically a skateboard but it can fly.

Sweet.

voice

[opress]

[He had heard rumblings about a fashion show and a talent show. Based on what he knew of Dirk's personality, he expected the human would be all for making an appearance to one or both. It would be interesting to see Dirk have a good time in public.]

So you're going to do the fashion show and wear heels then?

[He made a sound that was clearly his shoulders shrugging.]

It would be interesting. I've never been to something like that. I don't know what to expect.

[Some honesty. He had never, ever been to a party.]

Re: voice

[givehead]

Oh damn, I didn't even consider the fashion show or heels. I was just thinking of doing some DJing for the talent portion. Maybe you're right. I should go all out.

(There were multiple nights of it, after all. He should take advantage of that.)

Okay, new plan. Heels. Fashion Show. Talent Show. I'm doing it all. You've sold me.

(He had plenty to show.)

Me neither. (A softer tone.) We should go together. That way we can be virgins together. At least the first night there.

voice

[opress]

Obviously you should.

[Even if he didn't participate, he could be entertained by Dirk going all in. Maybe he was even relax and have a drink of alcohol.]

You aren't difficult to sell if it's dramatic.

[He snorted at the virgin comment.]

I think you enjoy popping my cherry in as many situations as possible. [He wasn't familiar with term, but it seemed amusing.] Are you... suggesting we go multiple evenings?

Re: voice

[givehead]

You're so supportive. (While Dirk sounds like he's joking, he's actually being completely sincere. It was kind of nice to have someone like that. Savage made him smile more than most people ever managed to.)

Presentation is important.

(He laughs lowly.) I do. It's fun to see you experience new things. (Plus he liked being the person to introduce Savage to new things. It made him feel good about himself.)

Why not? If it sucks, we can leave and go have our own talent show at one of our places. If it's fun, we get to let loose for a few nights.

voice

[opress]

Well... you don't make it difficult. [Dirk had the kind of outgoing a-type personality that made subtle encouragement easy. He didn't have to even think about it.]

You did impress me with a reindeer. I bet you could come up with something to make all those humans do that 'ooo' and 'ahh' thing.

[He might even be willing to have Dirk put some decorations on him. He'd be tolerant at least.]

It's interesting to see what makes you smile and laugh. [Because that wasn't a response that he was used to generating. The fact he could manage it when not trying was a very new experience.]

Very well. If The Red fails, we can go hunting or something.