(Luckily for Junpei, or really, unluckily, Dirk has immaculate reflexes. He's gone in the blink of an eye and reappears in front of Junpei, catching his arm and helping steady his balance.)
Whoa there, Bunny. I know I'm hot stuff, but try not to fall all over yourself around me. It won't do you jackshit in a fight.
(He is already going to be a nightmare about this set-up.
[ The first comment earns Dirk an especially dramatic eye roll. Yeah, this is going to be a loooong and exhausting social interaction. Junpei is already asking himself what the hell he was thinking.
Taking a moment to dust himself off he’s quick to yank his arm away from Dirk with a low huff. ]
Yeah, I told you, I can change into any animal.
[ He narrows his eyes at the other, doing his best to seem confident. It doesn’t exactly come to him naturally, but Dirk doesn’t need to know that. ]
(Though it makes enough sense for how the rest of this place worked. He kind of wished that he could transform into any animal...Damn. Horns and a tail weren't so bad though as far as bodily modifications went.)
Consider it kept.
(It's endearing to see Junpei try so hard. Poor bastard.)
So, what, do you know anything about fighting at all? Like, if I threw a left hook would you know the first thing to do?
[ Behind him his little bunny tail twitches, giving away he’s nervous in spite of the tough front he’s putting on in front of Dirk. ]
I know what I’ve seen in movies. Duck or ... if you’re strong enough, catch the punch?
[ Really he’s concerned his physical strength isn’t going to render him very formidable. It was why using a shikigami suited him in the first place.
No way he’s just going to come out and admit that to a guy he’s trying not to seem weak around, though. ]
Movies are fake, Junpei. Choreographed fights should not serve as a learning point. The average human is not strong nor fast enough to catch a punch.
(He's thinking the same things. He walks in a slow circle around Junpei, examining his body thoroughly and with detached practicality. It's as if he's looking at one of his robotics projects rather than a human.
He doesn't know how to train someone with zero experience. He is not soft nor kind or patient enough for beginners. He comes to stand in front of Junpei.)
Punch me as hard as you can. You won't hurt me. (He won't. Dirk is...a tank.) I just want to see how much work I'm going to need to do.
[ Unfortunately being a little on edge means he’s not doing especially great on keeping his cool. Dirk’s words cause him to quickly snap back: ]
I know movies aren’t real. I’m a teenager not a child.
[ Annoyance aside, he still doesn’t just eagerly jump at the chance to strike the other. He’s never thrown a punch in his life, and it’s not something that comes naturally to him.
Aside from that, he’s used to thinking any attempt to defend himself is going to lead to a worse beating. It’s a mountain of apprehension to overcome. He looks over Dirk and mutters quietly. ]
I wasn’t concerned about me hurting you.
[ But he came here for a reason, so he shoves his nerves aside and winds back his arm to attempt a punch to the other’s gut, hesitation probably keeping it from being full force.
Out of habit, he steps back and flinches a second later, body trembling noticeably. ]
(Dirk observes all of this with a completely neutral expression. He has his hands on his hips and stands there, immobile, unwavering. He wasn't familiar with fear in himself, but he could see it plain as day on Junpei.
The hit to his gut is abysmal, he thinks. He just stands there and doesn't so much as flinch. He doesn't even brace himself because he can tell well before it happens that it wasn't going to hurt. What follows after is more telling. The trembling, the flinching.
He's not empathetic enough of a guy to feel bad for Junpei. He doesn't do pity. It didn't help either that Dirk wasn't above slamming into some kid again and again just to make the kid a better version of themselves. Maybe that's why he liked Thirteen so much. He could relate to her desire of improving those around her.)
You're terrified. (He's not asking. He's informing.)
You believe I am going to hurt you. Or, if not me, then someone. (He tips his head at Junpei, examining the look on his face.)
You're used to that. Right now, you're focused on wanting to learn this so you don't get hurt. But you should focus on being able to hurt others first. Self-defense is fine enough, but it won't do shit for making you feel more in control of your own body.
[ It’s embarrassing. Dirk already outsizes him, but as mortified as he feels right now he might as well be a foot tall. Multiple panicked lines of thought are running through his head. Most of them telling him this was foolish and that he has new ways to run now - he should stick to those. He’d never be a fighter. ]
My own body isn’t even my own right now. Not that my old body was any good for fighting ... but I still haven’t adjusted to even running without tripping.
[ He sighs, putting his hand to his forehead. ]
Not everyone can be a fighter, right? Some people are just ... meant to run. The only way I was able to be intimidating to anyone back home was from power that was given to me. Even then it wasn’t enough.
[ Junpei isn’t sure how he feels about this outcome. It feels like a failure. He’d wanted to be cool, to come off as confident and distant and not let some weirdly flirty egotistical dude get the better of him.
There’s hesitancy to follow because of that, he takes a moment to look behind him at the direction he’d come from.
After another beat he sighs and moves to follow Dirk instead. Socializing is not his strong suit, so why is he going along with this? ]
I'm aware. No one can make me do anything I don't want to do.
(Dirk is in control of himself, his decisions, and his life. Even a cute boy couldn't take that from him. Socializing isn't Dirk's strong suit either, but he's tactical and realizes that this isn't the appropriate way to begin strengthening Junpei at all.)
You want to learn, don't you? (He looks over at Junpei and although he's wearing glasses, Dirk's the kind of person who can cut a look through anyone without his eyes being visible.)
Sometimes our approach to learning will simply look different. If I tried to show you anything as you are right now, I will only cause further damage. It won't do shit all for you. We need to work on your fear conditioning.
[ Well, the guy has seemingly been taking things seriously the past however many minutes - maybe he can trust him.
At least for now he follows Dirk, wiping some sweat off of his brow. Whatever kind of rabbit he is, it’s not a desert species. A drink does sound pretty good. ]
Do you have any experience with that? Helping someone ... not be so afraid?
(Dirk probably should never be fully trusted by anyone, that's for sure. Even he would agree with that.
Still, he's lost in thought.)
Somewhat. I pushed many of my friends to do their best in defiance of things that unnerved them. I'm not sure how much of their success was based on my guidance and how much of it was based on their innate abilities.
(If he's being honest.)
None of them had your issues. I do not think it would be a fair comparison. What about being hurt scares you?
[ There’s a look of confusion for that question. ]
The pain? What else would there be?
[ It’d be great if continued daily abuse made him build up a tolerance, if eventually enough of those shoes in his ribs or the fiery butts against his skin rendered him unable to feel the pain.
But no, it still made him flinch, made him scream out in pain. They got what they wanted every time, as hard as he fought to keep his composure. They’d retrained him. Made him transform from the quiet but friendly kid he’d been when he entered high school into someone frightened and bitter.
(Dirk has an incredibly disjointed relationship to pain and his own body. Perhaps it had to do with the scar circled around his neck or the fact that the rest of him was covered in heavy scars from reckless fighting and an unhinged lifestyle.)
Pain only inflicts so much psychological damage. I believe it is more the feeling of helplessness that comes with pain.
(Then again, Dirk has never been bullied. What the hell did he really know?)
Pain is a basic experience. Pleasure is just the same. Stimulate nerves and snap the brain into action. Being afraid of getting hurt won't do you any favors. It will always make you hesitate.
[ He huffs darkly. It never felt temporary when he was assured more the next day just by existing.
But they’re not here. The three idiots aren’t here. Ito isn’t here.
Mahito isn’t here. ]
Do you have any suggestions? Or are you just talking about the power of positive thinking? I would say time can probably help ... but how much time? At least back home there was some predictability of where danger would come from ...
[ Well, until the end. But even that he should have seen coming. ]
... so I have no idea how quickly I’ll need to change. If I can change.
I do not believe in positive thinking. I'm a realist bordering on straight-up fuckin' nihilism. (He comes to a stop and reaches out to grab Junpei's wrist to bring him to a stop as well. They can get drinks in a second.)
It's about taking charge of your own mental fortitude.
(He steps in front of Junpei and holds out both of his own palms.)
You can break one of my fingers if you want. Go ahead. (He curls his left hand into a fist except for his pinky.)
I have a limited relationship to my body. It's disposable. It's my soul that I care about and that's fractured beyond repair. This shit's just a fuckin' vessel. Go ahead. Break my finger and I won't do shit.
(He's just trying to prove a point here. Granted, in a very barbaric sort of way, but whatever.)
[ While he is incredibly cynical towards humanity, as Junpei has said to Dirk already - he’s not outright cruel. It had taken an extremely traumatic experience to inspire enough raw hatred in him to kill another human being, and while Dirk has gotten under his skin enough times he doesn’t hold that much ire towards him.
He gives a horrified look to the other, shaking his head a little. ]
Hey, stop ... I don’t want to! I don't know what you’re trying to prove, but ... there has to be some other way to do it.
(That's an interesting reaction. He stops and drops his hand completely, contemplating Junpei. This guy who wanted to come across tougher than he obviously was, a dude who flinched away from violence but willingly wanted to learn more about it, but a guy who couldn't even begin to try and inflict any real pain on someone else.
At least not like this. He sighs finally, and starts to walk again.)
All right. Unclench your ass. I won't make you do it.
[ Maybe if Dirk had run into him at the height of his attack on the school, when all empathy was shoved in a closet and hogtied to allow his hatred to have control.
Even then he’d only put the rest of his peers to sleep - he hadn’t been lying to his teacher when he’d said they’d be okay. Only Ito was intended to die that day, but in the end Junpei was the only casualty.
When Dirk starts walking again he feels relief the matter wasn’t pressed, but also lingering uneasiness that the situation came up at all. He thought he’d gotten a bead on the type of eccentric Dirk was, but clearly there were multiple layers at play here.
He’s really glad he insisted they meet in public.
When asked his age there’s hesitation in his response. He feels like he’s more mature than his age indicates - but then don’t all teenagers? ]
So, you're still young. (Dirk wasn't that much older. But he was 21 and that was something. He doesn't think much about Junpei's age at all. Why would he? He grew up without society, without any real comprehension of ages being all that worthwhile when it came to the late teens and early twenties.
He's in his own head, mulling over Junpei as much as Junpei was mulling over him. Junpei was right to be wary. Even with good intentions, Dirk tended to be a nefarious sort. There was a reason he had manifested in this world as a myth.)
You still operate primarily by your amygdala rather than your frontal cortex. And you seem to be quite sensitive to negative stimuli physically and mentally...
[ This is just getting weirder by the second. What was he even supposed to say to that? Was this really the same guy who’d made a saucy joke about stepping on him?
He gives the back of Dirk’s head an unimpressed look. ]
You’re really, really confusing.
[ Before the other takes that to mean he doesn’t understand the words being said to him, the teen elaborates : ]
One minute you’re just some thirsty creep and the next you’re a college professor.
(Poor Junpei. Dirk was a fucking weirdo by a landslide and there was no chance of him ever making sense, probably. Everything was a game to this dude. He glances over at Junpei and winds up raising a brow.)
Can man not both be thirsty and intelligent? The duality of humanity should not be understated, bunny. I have a cock and I have a brain. I like to use both to think. It's twice as effective and three times as fun.
What’s fun for you is exhausting for other people.
[ Or at least it is for him. He’d told Dirk trust was based on predictability, and right now navigating this guy was like a carnival funhouse. ]
I prefer my brain, thank you. It runs on logic.
[ The other head wasn’t totally silent - he was a teenage boy after all. But between watching his idiotic schoolmates let girls lead them around by their dicks and being afraid the bullying would worsen if it was ever discovered what his preferences were ... he’d done his best to ignore his libido. Nothing good could possibly come from following it. ]
(For him. He knew he was exhausting to literally everyone he met and knew, but he liked to think he just kept everyone on their toes.
Being predictable may as well be a federal offense in his books. He knew that predictability was dangerous. He knew he had raised his brother in some other timeline to never know what to expect and, well, most certainly it had led to his brother being rather mentally fucked up. Apparently tormenting an actual child with swords and puppets wasn't the best way to raise one.
Which kind of sucked, Dirk supposed, but he also saw where Beta!Dirk was coming from too. Keep 'em on their toes. Survival of the fittest, the most clever, the most agile.)
Logic can get you killed sometimes too. Sometimes a combination of logic and instinct is what sets someone apart from the others.
(They reach a little smoothie shack. It sounded nice in the desert heat so he orders himself an orange smoothie and sits aside while Junpei picks something out for himself.)
Plus. Neglect the other head for too long and it'll bite ya in the ass one day.
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Whoa there, Bunny. I know I'm hot stuff, but try not to fall all over yourself around me. It won't do you jackshit in a fight.
(He is already going to be a nightmare about this set-up.
But like also.)
Were you just a lizard?
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Taking a moment to dust himself off he’s quick to yank his arm away from Dirk with a low huff. ]
Yeah, I told you, I can change into any animal.
[ He narrows his eyes at the other, doing his best to seem confident. It doesn’t exactly come to him naturally, but Dirk doesn’t need to know that. ]
So keep that in mind.
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(Though it makes enough sense for how the rest of this place worked. He kind of wished that he could transform into any animal...Damn. Horns and a tail weren't so bad though as far as bodily modifications went.)
Consider it kept.
(It's endearing to see Junpei try so hard. Poor bastard.)
So, what, do you know anything about fighting at all? Like, if I threw a left hook would you know the first thing to do?
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I know what I’ve seen in movies. Duck or ... if you’re strong enough, catch the punch?
[ Really he’s concerned his physical strength isn’t going to render him very formidable. It was why using a shikigami suited him in the first place.
No way he’s just going to come out and admit that to a guy he’s trying not to seem weak around, though. ]
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(He's thinking the same things. He walks in a slow circle around Junpei, examining his body thoroughly and with detached practicality. It's as if he's looking at one of his robotics projects rather than a human.
He doesn't know how to train someone with zero experience. He is not soft nor kind or patient enough for beginners. He comes to stand in front of Junpei.)
Punch me as hard as you can. You won't hurt me. (He won't. Dirk is...a tank.) I just want to see how much work I'm going to need to do.
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I know movies aren’t real. I’m a teenager not a child.
[ Annoyance aside, he still doesn’t just eagerly jump at the chance to strike the other. He’s never thrown a punch in his life, and it’s not something that comes naturally to him.
Aside from that, he’s used to thinking any attempt to defend himself is going to lead to a worse beating. It’s a mountain of apprehension to overcome. He looks over Dirk and mutters quietly. ]
I wasn’t concerned about me hurting you.
[ But he came here for a reason, so he shoves his nerves aside and winds back his arm to attempt a punch to the other’s gut, hesitation probably keeping it from being full force.
Out of habit, he steps back and flinches a second later, body trembling noticeably. ]
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The hit to his gut is abysmal, he thinks. He just stands there and doesn't so much as flinch. He doesn't even brace himself because he can tell well before it happens that it wasn't going to hurt. What follows after is more telling. The trembling, the flinching.
He's not empathetic enough of a guy to feel bad for Junpei. He doesn't do pity. It didn't help either that Dirk wasn't above slamming into some kid again and again just to make the kid a better version of themselves. Maybe that's why he liked Thirteen so much. He could relate to her desire of improving those around her.)
You're terrified. (He's not asking. He's informing.)
You believe I am going to hurt you. Or, if not me, then someone. (He tips his head at Junpei, examining the look on his face.)
You're used to that. Right now, you're focused on wanting to learn this so you don't get hurt. But you should focus on being able to hurt others first. Self-defense is fine enough, but it won't do shit for making you feel more in control of your own body.
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My own body isn’t even my own right now. Not that my old body was any good for fighting ... but I still haven’t adjusted to even running without tripping.
[ He sighs, putting his hand to his forehead. ]
Not everyone can be a fighter, right? Some people are just ... meant to run. The only way I was able to be intimidating to anyone back home was from power that was given to me. Even then it wasn’t enough.
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There are fighters and there are survivors. Anyone else is dead.
(That's that. That's always been that.)
Listen. C'mon. (He nods his head and begins to walk away from the school and towards the small town that edged around it.)
We ain't fighting today. You're not ready for it. I'm getting you something to drink and we're talking instead.
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There’s hesitancy to follow because of that, he takes a moment to look behind him at the direction he’d come from.
After another beat he sighs and moves to follow Dirk instead. Socializing is not his strong suit, so why is he going along with this? ]
You really don’t have to ...
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(Dirk is in control of himself, his decisions, and his life. Even a cute boy couldn't take that from him. Socializing isn't Dirk's strong suit either, but he's tactical and realizes that this isn't the appropriate way to begin strengthening Junpei at all.)
You want to learn, don't you? (He looks over at Junpei and although he's wearing glasses, Dirk's the kind of person who can cut a look through anyone without his eyes being visible.)
Sometimes our approach to learning will simply look different. If I tried to show you anything as you are right now, I will only cause further damage. It won't do shit all for you. We need to work on your fear conditioning.
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At least for now he follows Dirk, wiping some sweat off of his brow. Whatever kind of rabbit he is, it’s not a desert species. A drink does sound pretty good. ]
Do you have any experience with that? Helping someone ... not be so afraid?
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Still, he's lost in thought.)
Somewhat. I pushed many of my friends to do their best in defiance of things that unnerved them. I'm not sure how much of their success was based on my guidance and how much of it was based on their innate abilities.
(If he's being honest.)
None of them had your issues. I do not think it would be a fair comparison. What about being hurt scares you?
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The pain? What else would there be?
[ It’d be great if continued daily abuse made him build up a tolerance, if eventually enough of those shoes in his ribs or the fiery butts against his skin rendered him unable to feel the pain.
But no, it still made him flinch, made him scream out in pain. They got what they wanted every time, as hard as he fought to keep his composure. They’d retrained him. Made him transform from the quiet but friendly kid he’d been when he entered high school into someone frightened and bitter.
Could he really be changed again? ]
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(Dirk has an incredibly disjointed relationship to pain and his own body. Perhaps it had to do with the scar circled around his neck or the fact that the rest of him was covered in heavy scars from reckless fighting and an unhinged lifestyle.)
Pain only inflicts so much psychological damage. I believe it is more the feeling of helplessness that comes with pain.
(Then again, Dirk has never been bullied. What the hell did he really know?)
Pain is a basic experience. Pleasure is just the same. Stimulate nerves and snap the brain into action. Being afraid of getting hurt won't do you any favors. It will always make you hesitate.
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[ He huffs darkly. It never felt temporary when he was assured more the next day just by existing.
But they’re not here. The three idiots aren’t here. Ito isn’t here.
Mahito isn’t here. ]
Do you have any suggestions? Or are you just talking about the power of positive thinking? I would say time can probably help ... but how much time? At least back home there was some predictability of where danger would come from ...
[ Well, until the end. But even that he should have seen coming. ]
... so I have no idea how quickly I’ll need to change. If I can change.
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It's about taking charge of your own mental fortitude.
(He steps in front of Junpei and holds out both of his own palms.)
You can break one of my fingers if you want. Go ahead. (He curls his left hand into a fist except for his pinky.)
I have a limited relationship to my body. It's disposable. It's my soul that I care about and that's fractured beyond repair. This shit's just a fuckin' vessel. Go ahead. Break my finger and I won't do shit.
(He's just trying to prove a point here. Granted, in a very barbaric sort of way, but whatever.)
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He gives a horrified look to the other, shaking his head a little. ]
Hey, stop ... I don’t want to! I don't know what you’re trying to prove, but ... there has to be some other way to do it.
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At least not like this. He sighs finally, and starts to walk again.)
All right. Unclench your ass. I won't make you do it.
(For now anyway.)
How old are you exactly?
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Even then he’d only put the rest of his peers to sleep - he hadn’t been lying to his teacher when he’d said they’d be okay. Only Ito was intended to die that day, but in the end Junpei was the only casualty.
When Dirk starts walking again he feels relief the matter wasn’t pressed, but also lingering uneasiness that the situation came up at all. He thought he’d gotten a bead on the type of eccentric Dirk was, but clearly there were multiple layers at play here.
He’s really glad he insisted they meet in public.
When asked his age there’s hesitation in his response. He feels like he’s more mature than his age indicates - but then don’t all teenagers? ]
Seventeen.
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He's in his own head, mulling over Junpei as much as Junpei was mulling over him. Junpei was right to be wary. Even with good intentions, Dirk tended to be a nefarious sort. There was a reason he had manifested in this world as a myth.)
You still operate primarily by your amygdala rather than your frontal cortex. And you seem to be quite sensitive to negative stimuli physically and mentally...
(Dirk, maybe stop psychoanalyzing the poor kid?)
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He gives the back of Dirk’s head an unimpressed look. ]
You’re really, really confusing.
[ Before the other takes that to mean he doesn’t understand the words being said to him, the teen elaborates : ]
One minute you’re just some thirsty creep and the next you’re a college professor.
[ Blunt as ever. ]
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(Poor Junpei. Dirk was a fucking weirdo by a landslide and there was no chance of him ever making sense, probably. Everything was a game to this dude. He glances over at Junpei and winds up raising a brow.)
Can man not both be thirsty and intelligent? The duality of humanity should not be understated, bunny. I have a cock and I have a brain. I like to use both to think. It's twice as effective and three times as fun.
(He's insufferable, in other words.)
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[ Or at least it is for him. He’d told Dirk trust was based on predictability, and right now navigating this guy was like a carnival funhouse. ]
I prefer my brain, thank you. It runs on logic.
[ The other head wasn’t totally silent - he was a teenage boy after all. But between watching his idiotic schoolmates let girls lead them around by their dicks and being afraid the bullying would worsen if it was ever discovered what his preferences were ... he’d done his best to ignore his libido. Nothing good could possibly come from following it. ]
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(For him. He knew he was exhausting to literally everyone he met and knew, but he liked to think he just kept everyone on their toes.
Being predictable may as well be a federal offense in his books. He knew that predictability was dangerous. He knew he had raised his brother in some other timeline to never know what to expect and, well, most certainly it had led to his brother being rather mentally fucked up. Apparently tormenting an actual child with swords and puppets wasn't the best way to raise one.
Which kind of sucked, Dirk supposed, but he also saw where Beta!Dirk was coming from too. Keep 'em on their toes. Survival of the fittest, the most clever, the most agile.)
Logic can get you killed sometimes too. Sometimes a combination of logic and instinct is what sets someone apart from the others.
(They reach a little smoothie shack. It sounded nice in the desert heat so he orders himself an orange smoothie and sits aside while Junpei picks something out for himself.)
Plus. Neglect the other head for too long and it'll bite ya in the ass one day.
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cw: decapitation
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